Abiding In Joy…

“These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” ~John 15:11-12.

Four years ago this July, my smile died. In the year that followed more pain ensued and I hid myself. I fell at the foot of the cross. I was broken. Crushed. Hopeless. Love of more than one sort had fled from me and I remember the year following that final blow as one of finding much joy in my Savior but also of much grief and loss in my own daily life.

Two years ago, during Passion week, I spent the time in quiet solitude. I did not leave my apartment other than to go to work. In that silence I fought a battle, even though I did not know it at the time. Still, to this day, such a week has never come to me again. It was a week in which, in a spiritual sense, I died. I wrestled with my Savior and at the end of the fight I lay on the floor with nothing left. I gave up.

Oddly enough, I think shortly after that was the beginning of when I allowed my heart to wander. It was a time when I felt so close to the Father I suppose I did not feel the need to cultivate my relationship with Him anymore. Perhaps it was just laziness. Either way, I lost myself. I read my writing from that time and I crave to go back there. To feel that passion again. To adore Christ in that way.

Today, this week and this year, I sit here, a world away from that night on my balcony in Texas with my beautiful breeze upon which my Savior embraced me flowing across me. Now, I sit in a desert…dry, dehydrated, thirsty soil. My soul in many ways has mimicked it. It has become so thirsty that it screams for water.

This week, I take up the daily reading from 1928 Common Book of Prayer as I do every year. Every year they have a different meaning to me. Joy stands out. Fruit. Abiding. I love these passages in John as our Savior speaks to His disciples before His death. I love the picture that is painted and the responsibility that we are given. I love the call and the promises that can be found in these verses.

To abide in joy. To hold Him so close that all we can do is rejoice. That is a indeed a precious and wonderful thing. As I wander back this time I find that joy comes more quickly. I keep expecting a battle but I begin to realize that there is not one for me right now. No, instead of a fight I believe God is giving me healing. He has heard my cry. He has heard my pain. He has seen my anguish. Now, He reaches out to give me joy that has been gone so long. He has given me my smile back. My voice is returning. His songs swell up in my heart and all I want is to sing for my King. I want to rejoice in the miracle of my salvation but not only in that. I want to rejoice in the miracle of my healing. I want to rejoice that the past has happened and from it I have been healed. In my hurt and pain I saw no end to suffering and yes, there are still days in which I flounder but they come father and farther apart. Now, the darkness is lifting and the light is returning.

In the silence I hear my heart. It calls and searches. It longs to know more. As it returns home it is told to rejoice. To know that I am healed. To know that my Savior has rescued me.

Christ is King. This week commemorates the battle that He fought for the souls of those whom He created. If for no other reason, this one fact calls me to love Him. What more could I ask than to spend my life to serve a God who loves me more than I could ever know or understand. How else could I live? How else could I die?

It is no great thing to abide in His joy for the knowledge of what was given makes rejoicing possible.

Words Of Power…

Tonight, there are words on my mind, which remind me of something very important.

“Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth.”  ~ V for Vendetta (2006).

Out of all of the words every spoken, read, or thought there are some which ring more clearly across the ages.  Words such as those spoken by Patrick Henry as he called our forefathers to stand up for the freedom of this nation.  Words spoken by Calvin, Luther, Augustine, and so many other leaders of the faith that calls us to a deeper knowledge of truth and right in the cause of King Jesus.  Century upon century these words build upon other words, inspiring more ideas, thoughts, and truth.  However, God Himself breathed the most important words of all into our very bones.  He gave us the true knowledge of truth…and then we took the knowledge of good and evil upon ourselves.

Whatever happens tomorrow, whatever America decides, I do not fear the outcome.  At worst I will be uncomfortable with it but fear has no place in my heart during this election.  As a Christian I am called to remember that Christ has already won the battle for the freedom of my heart and soul.  My salvation lies in His work, not in the hands of politicians. 

Whether America stands or falls is in the hands of God.  He is the hope for the world, not any work of man or any political party or symbol.

Words carry great power and as the above quote states, they will always retain their power.  The ideas that they inspire live longer than any human could.  This is why Christ’s words, spoken from the cross, should inspire the greatest soundtrack ever written. 

“It is finished.”

What more could this world ask for?  God the Father has granted us beyond anything we ever deserved.  In the death of His son we are free and this is why no matter what happens tomorrow or the next day, we have absolutely nothing to fear.  Evil men are going to continue their futile battle in search for power, money, and love.  They are going to continue a fight they cannot win.  Christ is King and He has already defeated them.

Whatever happens tomorrow, the battle that matters is won.  Let us not forget and live our lives in a way that says we believe it. 

What If We Just Ate The Brownies???

So, I’m beginning to wonder, what is the point of all the dieting and working out if you still can’t eat the brownies without feeling guilty.

I’ve been harping on this whole health thing for several months now.  My little sister is tired of discoveries about my thyroid and adrenal glands.  I’ve gained weight though that is mostly due to stress.  And I am back on my bodyrock.tv exercise bandwagon…and I love it.

But, once again, as I watch all the health nuts ramble away, rejoicing when they eat perfectly and with complete self-control and then kicking themselves when they fail and go on a binge, and now I ask this question:  what is the point of it all?

Why are we working out, dieting, and seeking to resemble the Greek gods of old?  Granted, there is definitely something so beautiful about the picture of the perfectly toned young man or woman in the prime of their youth.  But should that be the focus.  Should our focus and goal be our mortal bodies?  Or should we care more about our souls?

Body or soul?  I think that is the question.  Now, without doubt, both are incredibly important.  You do have to take care of your body and honor it as the temple of the Lord but also remember it is a temporal thing.  This body will become old, diseased, and will return to dust.  You should be careful what you put into it.  You should respect it.  But the time you spend of caring for your body and focusing on that should not outstrip the time you spend caring for the only part of you that is eternal.

 “For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness if profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.” 1 Timothy 4:8.

I was randomly reading my bible one day as I was pondering some of this and this verse caught my eye as you can imagine.  It truly made me start to wonder if there was any point to all these push ups, vitamins, iodine drops, and stress I was putting on myself to attain something I was not completely sure I even wanted.

At the end of it all, yes, I really do need to take care of myself but I also do not need to stop living.  I still need to eat the brownies, enjoy the wine, and relish the delights of peach cobbler made of fresh, in season, picked that day peaches.  I also need to make sure I take time to imitate the Proverbs 31 woman.

“She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong” ~Proverbs 31:17

Yes, we are to care for our bodies but our focus should not be for earthly gain.  We must not focus on our bodies so much that we forget our souls.  We turn away from gluttony, drunkenness, and all other forms of vile behavior.  We obey our God.

Our souls are eternal.  They will be a part of us forever.  We probably do not realize the full importance it entails.  Our souls and our hearts will play the far greater role in our walk with Christ, relationships with our families, and our witness to the world.  Cultivate inward beauty.  Let that shine forth from you.  It will be far more valuable.  Embrace modesty for the humility that it is.  Welcome the chance to give yourself for others.  Open yourself to others so that they can perhaps learn from your story and the wonders that God has done for your soul.   After all,

 “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”  ~Proverbs 31:30

I think we should eat the brownies and work out.  Sure, eating brownies will make the slimming process slower and maybe you will never reach 18% body fat (why?) but that might actually please your husband more.  Never forget, Marilyn Monroe, still considered to be one of the world’s most attractive sex icons ever, was, by her measurements, a size 8-12 (depending who you ask).  I have yet to meet a man who when asked, said that he didn’t like curves on a woman.  I’m not recommending obesity…just allow your body to be what God built it to be.  Don’t beat yourself up because you don’t look like a photoshopped image.  Cultivate inward beauty.  It is much more lasting.

After all, you will most likely be more remembered for your personality and love of life that the fact that you were a perfect size 2.

Don’t waste your life.  Enjoy it.  Obey God.  Be blessed and enjoy the gifts that He has given you.  Relish them.

Eat the food…and love every mouthful.  Delight in the brownies for they are good for your soul!